Kingdom Carrier

I really like this story, and I think it has real potential. The only thing I have to complain about is the fact that you don't have anything to separate ...

I won't say much, mostly because I might as well have just woken up, but I really like where this is going. The grammar- and tense-problems slowed me down a ...

Wow. Posting a story online makes you seem a lot smarter. :lol: Your story is great, and it drags the reader into the beginning of a fantasy, but you definitely ...

I agree with canislupis. This is a story where you have to read the whole thing before you can understand it. Hey, that just builds suspense. I like how you ...

I really liked your story, or what of it is here anyway. It is good that it is full of new description every line, but you have to make sure ...